I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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