no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
