Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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