I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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