Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was born a porn star she said
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
