Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
