so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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