she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
