yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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