If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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