My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
