I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
