i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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