Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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