Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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