My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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