Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
