I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
