As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's blow job season.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize