I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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