My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
