This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
