hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this beer tastes like vomit already
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
