I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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