You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize