People with herpes should wear stickers.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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