remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
