I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
