hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
