i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize