it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
