i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
foreskin is a definite game changer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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