yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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