Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
