things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
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I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
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I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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