I want to stick my p in your. b.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
