Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
