Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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