sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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