my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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