This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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