Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize