she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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