my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
