sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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