we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
