left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
