office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
