um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize