he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
