god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
