OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Non-Jews are for practice
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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