Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
