I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
