that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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