I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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