He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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