i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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