It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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