I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
